Uffa

Uffa... I feel stupid because I fell for stupid men.

Explanation

I want to comment on my own post, the one where I scream at the world because everyone is selfish and because society has built us as we are... I think I didn't make the point, instead I pointed the finger at everyone, missing the fact that I just wanted to point it at someone in particoular. If you're reading this (which I doubt), you know who you are.
So I want to analyze the last sentence I wrote: "I am what I feel... and because of this I am alone". This sentence contradicts a bit my life philosophy, and I'll tell you why. "I am what I feel", we know that "feelings" are relative to each individual. So saying that "because of the fact that I am different from all the other people, who are as well different from each others, therefore I am alone" is statying a fact. We are all different from each others, are we're all individually alone, in a certain way. Which is a positive thing, because it gives each of us the possibility to be. But, what I meant was, I am a very emotional person, and probably because of this I can feel lonely, sometimes. It was stupid of me to write that post out of anger and spite, but I am not going to delete it, because that was a moment of anger, and I am also made of those. I am made of those, because I still have to understand many things. But also because I tend to understand myself and give an explanation to things that sometimes just don't have an explanation. >_<

cuties

I spent the afternoon with these cuties... ^_^
[they're basically mostly asleep cus the lil one is crazy nut and after jumping all over got tired!]

carlitos y lulu:

moods

am I fine?

am I fine...
even if apparently no-one wanna share an happy moment with me?
even if no-one seems to care about the things they say and do to me?
even if I always smile and make everyone else do the same?

am I really fine? or is it just my illusion?

I think I am fine, but no-one gives a crap. People are always too busy thinking about their own things: when they're happy cus they're happy, when they're sad cus they're sad.. I kinda understood u gotta deal with ur own things but how come I do care about other people too?! I do care about making that 1 call, saying that 1 thing that I know they'll appreciate? why? why am I like this? and why no-one ever cared about the semplicity of my actions?

Why when things are easy people wanna make them difficult? and / or the opposite?
I sound like a teenager going through a crise, don't I?! but yes, I feel like shit. Like everything I did till now didn't bring me any good, like I always mistook, misunderstood, overthought, dreamed... Don't dream: it is a mistake! Then it all goes wrong and u are lost in the dream of urs. Don't.. even if it is the most beautiful thing, people have forget about dreaming. They forgot about being a child, they forgot about being honest, about the humanity we have. and I am not f*cking religious.. but I was sure that we, as humans, had more capabilities, that are inside our nature. instead the more I grow older, the more all become superficial, the magic has no sense no more, mistery don't exist anymore.
It's only about this thing people call 'society'. Waz that? It's just a thought: how can they live on a thought and forget about dreaming? I will die one day, everyone will, and I can't care less what society thought of me, I just wish I lived my most: risking, changing, and taking my chances.. I lost, I won, I drew. I found happiness in all of these, therefore I am crazy. I am crazy only because I do not care what television says, or what clothes I wear, I only care about what my body feels, because that's the only thing I can be sure about. All the rest could be fake. Or unknown. But in my 29 years I mostly met people who prefer to listen outside and never inside. Never...
and this makes me feel so freaking alone.

I wish someday people will have to understand (an this will happen when they'll also finally destroyed our Earth) that all this was just a Big Bullshit. That clothes, parties, money aren't the most important thing, that there is only one important thing: to be alive. To have the chance of breathing fresh air and enjoying the view of the sky. To have the chance of treating other animals (people included) respectfully. Because the smile of someone can give u back life.

I am what I feel... and because of this I am alone.

visit me ^_^

These days I am always getting around taking pictures.. work some of them on photoshop and upload them on flickr...

I want a prince with a blue car.....

I want a prince with a blue car
that understands my little dreams
and that will drive me away from here
into the magic, indeed so far
where in the blue our fuels will burn

mmmm... sundays

Ok.... I think maybe is time to write something on this thing... anyways I am not using papers and pencils since a loooong time now. But still. ^_^

It's sunday and I am lazy to do anything. I can't hold my repression much longer. I am living in this place and I am getting sick of it. I am asking myself what made me move here 7 years ago.... It is a strange question that I didn't expect to ask myself. And now I have to answer it... Strange question. I wonder why this happens so often, not being able to answer my own enigmas... It used to be simple. It used to be much easier than it is now. Now my head is cloudy, there's not much serenity and answers have to go through a long dark tunnel before coming out. I can feel their pain while they struggle to reach the exit of my brain. It's strange. Another sunday morning asking questions. This is what I call relaxation. Crazy. That's what most people think about me. But I don't care, while I am giving birth to my freedom, what other people think of me. I cannot care now.